WOW, not written one of these in a long time. I must apologise that the below blog was literally me just typing and seeing what came out. I just wanted to start documenting a journey I’m about to begin, and this is my way of doing it.
So, we’re into the festive season once again.
Even at 40 years old, I have always loved this time of year. I may well be an adult, but, I’m a child at heart, I love all those things kids love, the magic, the colours, the smells, the food, and most importantly, the time with family and friends.
Obviously, I know that, that’s not what the holiday season is all about for those people who enjoy the religious aspect, however, for me this is it.
So why, do I this year find myself struggling to get into the festive spirit.
Well, as some of you will already know, earlier this year I lost my dad. Now, I know I’m not the first person in the world to lose someone, and I know I won’t be the last. In fact the only 2 things we can be sure of in life is that we’ll pay taxes, and that we’ll die one day. This however, doesn’t make it any easier.
I’ve been exceptionally lucky I have the most wonderful friends and family around me, who are happy to just sit and listen to me going on about how great my dad was, how lucky I was to have him around for 40 years of my life. Especially when I have so many friends who lost their dads at a much younger age than me.
This is kind of why I wanted to write this blog, firstly to get my own feelings out on paper. I’ll be honest, I’m struggling with the death of my dad, and I’ve started the proceedings to get some professional grief counselling in early 2018 (it’s quite a long waiting list, but, that’s another story).
I currently find myself sitting with a huge aching in my heart, but a blockage in my feelings. Something that is frankly stopping me getting through the grief process. I don’t know what it is, but, I do know it’s affecting my work, and my mindset, which is why I’ve taken the step to get help.
I just wanted anyone else who’s in the same position as me, or going through something much worse than losing a loved parent, know, you’re not alone, you do have people around you who’ll listen, and, if you don’t want to lay your problems at their door, there are others who’ll sit down and hear you….without judgement…..without malice, but, with love, and open arms.
I’ve not even started the process yet, but, I can tell you right now, I already feel I’m on the road to recovery by just getting in touch with them. As I write this, I think I’m going to write a blog after each session I have with the counsellor, just to let you know how the process works, because, that’s the one thing that scared me at first, I didn’t know what to expect, I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, but, not everyone can take that first step, so maybe my blogs will help you.
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings, and that’s basically what they are, and I look forward to you joining me on my journey.
I don’t for one second believe it’s going to be easy, not in anyway shape or form, but, I hope it will help me push forward, and continue to live life and make dad proud of me, as much as I am proud of him and how much he sacrificed, and gave me and my family over the years.
STOPJABBAINGON 