MEETING 2
So, it’s that time of the week when I’m heading onto my 2nd session with the wonderful team over at Cruse Bereavement.
So, firstly, for those of you who’re new here, my dad passed away on June 13th last year, and although I mentally understand I need to move on with life, my mind, and my body know subconsciously I’ve not yet dealt with the grief process and keeps slowing me down. So at the end of last year, I decided now was the time to speak with someone, and try and find some coping mechanisms and hopefully find a way through to the other side of the grief. My biggest issue and worry about my grief is that I’m struggling to let go emotionally, when I want to cry, I switch off and move on, and that’s my mental coping mechanism, but, I honestly believe I need to truly have a big release, and so we’re trying to find a way of helping that happen.
So this time it was another opportunity for me and my grief counselor to sit down and discuss in more depth about the previous week. Things that might be playing on my mind more and more after dads passing, and most importantly, the relationship I had with dad.
I know many people don’t get to have much of a relationship with their fathers, so I consider myself incredibly lucky. Dad worked in the merchant navy and was away a huge part of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sad he missed out a huge amount of my life, but, also, he gave me an opportunity to see so much more of the world. I traveled with him when I was younger and he gave me and the rest of my family amazing experiences.
This was where I feel I will be able to move on more than anything with my grief. One of the ideas my counselor came up with for me was to write down about things that are going through my head. So for example, when my mind is going into a bit of a funk and I find myself slowing down mentally, take a moment to write down whats going through my mind. It might not be about dad at that moment in time, but at least I’m getting that problem down on paper, and out of my head.
The 2nd thing I mentioned in my previous blog was a memory jar. I’ve really latched onto this idea, but, I wanted to try and make it my own. The reason being is that, as a creative person, and running my own creative agency, I have so much more than just a one-line experience running through my mind when I remember something.
DEAR DAD…..
So I sat down and discussed my own personal idea, and I want you guys to also be part of this. I’m going to make time to write letters to dad. My own personal dear dad, just writing to him about a specific memory that’s in my mind at that moment. So rather than just writing on a slip of paper, I remember when we went to Russia and slipping it into a jar, I can write dad a whole letter, and write creatively about the experience, the smells, the sounds, the sights, and what it meant to me that he was able to give me that experience. Sometimes the letters will be longer when it’s about big experiences, other times it’ll be about cuddling up with him on the sofa when I was about 5 or 6 years old and watching grandstand on a Saturday afternoon, before as all kids do, I got bored and went to play outside, but those little things are what I want to latch on to, they’re my memories of dad, and I feel they’ll help move me forward in this process.
So, yet again, thank you for listening to my ramblings, and keep your eyes peeled for my first Dear Dad letter which I’ll post on my blog once I’m happy with what I’ve written.
I hope this has helped someone, anyone, in their journey of grief, and if I could suggest anything is everyone’s journey is different, so once you’re ready and in a place to do so, sit down with someone and talk to them, you’ll be amazed what comes out, and what possibly could be other worries you have that are connected to the situation you’re currently in.
So, until my next counseling meeting, take care.
STOPJABBAINGON 